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Sunday 14 August 2016

courting music

My relationship with music has always been slightly unrequited. Throughout my childhood I flirted with a multitude of instruments: violin, piano, guitar, ukulele. But I always gave up when the going got tough, when the practice became a drag or a chore or, most often, non-existent. I have strong memories of sitting in piano lessons waiting for the moment that Mrs Silvey would notice I hadn’t gone over what we’d done since last week as guilt lined the back of my aesophagus, running down into the pits of my insides.

I did love being able to play piano, however mediocre I was. Once I had learnt a piece, I would record myself playing. And then I’d play the 3 or 4 pieces I knew over and over and over and feel very please about my achievements. But my joy came from my success, and not from the process that got me there.

The same thing happened with guitar and ukulele, once I could play something I didn’t need to play anything else.

Then in clomped the tuba. The big, deep, tuba that I picked off a year 7 band application because if I put it as my first preference, I knew I’d get it, and the success of getting my first preference outweighed any actual interest I had in playing the instrument. It was kind of funny. Kind of quirky. Fun to say “I play the tuba.”

But I hated band in year 7. I hated it, and I’d never bring my music so I couldn’t play, and I hated it, and I’d sit in the back row and “forget” my mouth piece, and I hated it. Stupid big cold hunk of metal that sounds bad and smells worse.

You see, music didn’t love me back. It didn’t come to me in the depths of night and whisper harmonies in my ear, it didn’t hold my hand, or sing out to me in crowds. As someone who has always prided herself on getting things, I didn’t get music. It was hard. I wasn’t good. I couldn’t hear what everyone else could hear. Pitch, tone, rhythm – they were on the other side of the valley I gazed across, and I had myopia.

So, I said, I’m quitting, I’m out of here. Sorry Year 8 Concert Band, I’m not your girl.  

You know when you’re eating something and you’re at a good point - you’re feeling pretty satiated. You’re ready to stop, finish on a high. But there’s more left, so you just have one more serving…
I did that with band. After our year 7 band camp, which was a whole lot of fun, I sighed and told myself “Okay, maybe one more year.” And in truth – it was because I wanted to go on the next camp, which was worth enduring another year of this strained relationship of mine.

Then suddenly the world shifted and band burst onto the scene of year 8 as my favourite class. Before I knew it, it became one of those classes that I could go to in any mood and come out feeling strong and refreshed and ready to take on the world. Maybe it was the change in conductor, maybe it was the complexity of the pieces – or maybe it was that for the first time, despite my reluctance, I brought my music and mouthpiece and just tried my best.

For the next three years, my constant refrain was “I’m pretty terrible at it, but I just like being a part of an ensemble.” Which was half true. I wasn’t the best in the band by a long-shot, but I absolutely adored the feeling of making one piece of music with 70 other people. Praise be to the Debbie Maslings of the world who establish community bands that allow people like me to experience that ridiculous sense of collaborative fulfilment, without the pressure to be able to recite two octaves of a melodic G minor scales from memory.

I am now in my 7th year of playing the tuba – which is a) something I never imagined and b) the longest I’ve consistently stuck with one instrument. And I’ve been surprising myself. Nowadays I don’t always fumble through a sight-reading completely lost on the rhythm of the piece. I can hear when I’m pitching wrong (most of the time).  I know when I’m in tone with the other tubas (I think). Slowly, very slowly, my brain is adapting to the music. My years of telling myself “Not perfect, but that’s fine!” and “Getting the song right isn’t even the main reason you’re here.” have resulted in a steady improvement in my playing that’s crept into my life like a spider into a boot.

Music has never loved me back, I will never be Mozart or Nat King Cole or Taylor Swift, but we are getting there. Because I still adore to be able to sit down and play something, and all the times of nearly and almost and my fingers just don't stretch that far, are worth the end product. 


More than that, music has reminded me you don’t need to stick to the things you're naturally good at. If you keep at anything long enough, you’ll get there. The trick is in the trying.

Tuesday 19 April 2016

Let's Talk About March!

1. It's bizarre to come back to this spot, after more than two years of inactivity. I suppose my interest in the online world of blogging/vlogging diminished somewhat in the blur and bluster of years 11 and 12. I wouldn't even be here were it not for a lost battery charger for my camera - videos are my preferred domain for the odd occasion that inspiration strikes me and I wish to Document My Life. But alas, the camera is dead and the blog post is re-born!

2. I'm 4 months into my gap year and I'm very worried that when I look back at it I'm going to ask myself "what did I even do with all that time?" so I need to write it down for future reference.

3. I say 4 months, but I'm going to discount January and February as I consider those still my 'holiday months' in which I allowed myself to do nothing! Huzzah! That being said - I went to Bali!It was gorgeous, and now my mum's a little obsessed. Aren't we just classic Aussies? In Feb I also moved my room around, chucked many bags of things out, and cleaned and sorted (it's still an ongoing process - never complete!) Anyway, the month I really wanted to talk about was:

4. MARCH!

I'm 20 days into April now (when did that happen) but I really wanted to have a little word vom about the third month of this year. I definitely feel like it was the first hump I had to overcome in terms of making this year off school worthwhile. This is how I imagined my gap year last year:

"I want to work a lot and save loads of money and also do all sorts of cool creative projects and volunteer with cool things and do all the stuff I want to do but can't when school's on."

Yeah, really specific Indy. Good one. That's totally gonna be really achievable and easy to do. *rolls eyes at past self*.

March started off well, I went to Mardis Gras in Sydney with Patrick (brilliant),  saw a gorgeous play at the opera house, and then was headed back home for an audition for a play! Unfortunately I loaded the gun and aimed it at my foot by learning my monologue on the bus back, and as I dropped all (and I mean all) of my lines in front of the three panel members I could hear the gunshot ringing in the back of my mind. I began to walk with a limp - this was not how my gap year was meant to be going.

So basically I found myself in the midst of March, with 2/5 my friends working their butts off to go to Europe and 2/5 my friends still at school, and 1/5 at uni being stressed out of their minds doing their law degrees. And I was somewhere in the middle - celebrating my 4 year anniversary at McDonald's while working two other casual jobs, not at school, not travelling, not able to plan anything more than a week out because of rosters that aren't announced until the week before, and not doing all the cool and creative projects I'd promised myself.

One day in the shower as I was doing all my deep thinking and singing songs from Les Mis, I pronounced myself in a state of limbo - an awful purposeless void of failed auditions and greasy uniforms. I needed to shake things up - open up my life for something new.

Now, throughout this period of ugh what i am doing with my life I was madly applying for jobs. Many a cover letter was typed up late at night, hoping to secure something with regular part-time hours that I could make a priority in my life. I got one interview for one job that sounded pretty sweet - an admin role working 27 hours a week at an performing arts based non-profit organisation, located a 5 minute bike ride away from me. But it was a bit out of my experience range, and they'd advertised on Facebook so I was sure they'd be receiving lots of applications.

On the morning 29th March before I headed off to work at McDonald's, I bit the bullet and decided to book in to get my hair cut. A fringe had been on my mind for a while, and maybe it was time to make a change since nothing else was really working for me (I mean, I say that from a life of privilege. Not working for me in a white middle-class my life is already infinitely lucky sort of way. I shouldn't complain, but I was feeling pretty bummed.)

Literally as I was sitting in the chair for my haircut that afternoon – I kid you not, the timing was insane – I get a call from the man who interviewed me, they want me to start on Thursday if possible, I'd gotten the job! Chop went the hair, and the pain in my foot was gone.

Things started falling into place a bit more after that. I began filming a short film for a year 12 media project, I put my hand up to be a camera assistant on another film project (about zombies, hella cool), and I became committee secretary of my recently incorporated choir.

I'm sure I'll have more humps and struggles as the year goes on, but for now I'm feeling pretty awesome about life again. My job is fantastic, it's challenging and exciting and can make tea any time I want (I can't even believe how much I lucked out with that one). I'm motivated to make things, I sing all the time, I'm finding time for friends, my room is getting more and more organised (one drawer at a time!) and I've stopped eating meat. Life is busy again, but it's the kind of busy where I'm enthralled in all the things I do.

So, future me if and when you look back at this - the moral is: if you feel like you're a bit stuck, change one thing, and eventually others will follow.

Now, I have to go and quit McDonald's (ahh), wish me luck!

Tuesday 14 January 2014

January Obsessions | Frozen & Jennifer Lawrence


This month, a couple of new things have popped up around me and stuck to me. As I'm away from home, I've had not much to do in terms of entertaining myself so these two particular things have been consuming my attention quite a lot.



The first being the new Disney film Frozen. If you haven't heard of this movie by now, I'd be a little shocked. At first, I didn't think it would be that great. I've never been a huge Disney girl, and so I wasn't that enthused when it came out. It looked okay, kinda funny, but I had no huge desire to go and see it in the cinema.



After seeing quite a lot of talk about it on Tumblr, I was presented with the chance to go see it with my friend Nyssa. We loved it. It was funny and brilliant and different, with amazing music and characters and as soon as I got home I downloaded the Deluxe Soundtrack. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly highly recommend it. I've seen it twice in theatres now, and literally know all the words to all the songs. The storyline's so empowering, and I can't think of an age bracket that wouldn't enjoy it.

Such a wonderful film.

Catching Fire Premiere - 2013


The second item in this list is the remarkable combination of talent, personality and beauty that presents itself in Jennifer Lawrence. I absolutely have a huge crush on her. I've always admired her acting, and the few interviews I've seen in the past have made me laugh and enjoy her refreshing and slightly mad response to questions.

Winter's Bone - 2010

I'm not quite sure why, but this month I've just been finding myself looking up to her more and more. The amount of interviews I've watched on YouTube is building up to an embarrassing amount, and thanks to the internet, I'm watching my way through her entire filmography.

X-Men First Class - 2011

I wouldn't say she's flawless, but that's what I love. She openly discusses her experiences, life and opinions with an honesty I have never seen in any other actor or actress. She is unashamedly herself and does so with a sense of humour that draws you in and makes you just want to spend the day chatting with her. Not to mention that she's incredibly beautiful, but somehow not the stock-standard beauty of Hollywood premieres.

85th Academy Awards - 2013

She's just wonderful, and a true gem to have in this world. I deeply hope that one day I might get the chance to meet her, but if not I'll just continue to appreciate her existence.

It's only the 15th, so potentially more obsessions will make themselves present in the next two weeks, but for the moment these are definitely what's been grabbing my interest lately!

What have you been loving this month? Let me know in the comments!

xx

Indy

Thursday 9 January 2014

2014 | Resolutions

I'm well aware that we're now 10 days into the New Year, but since it's still January, I'm still going to do a New Year's Resolutions post!

This is partially for me, so I can write down and make clear what I want to do this year.

This is also a post I can write without taking my own pictures, as I'm interstate without my good camera. I left it at home so my Mum can take photos of our cats. Yep, swear to God, that was my only reason.

2013 was an absolute gem of a year, and I'm very much hoping 2014 is just as good.

So, my New Year's resolutions are:

1. Read more books 

See this post for more information. I'm doing awesome so far, as I've already finished three (wooooo!), but the hard part will be keeping it up when school returns.





2. White teeth. 

Following my 20-month braces treatment, I've got a deep appreciation for dental hygiene. My teeth aren't yellow as such, and they're healthy, but I'd like them to be much whiter than they are. Now that I've got straight teeth (thanks Mum!), I feel like it's the next step to a dazzling smile.

To do this, I'm going to floss every day, brush with a whitening toothpaste twice a day and rinse with an alcohol-free whitening mouthwash. I've also got some whitening chewing gum, but I'm going to try and not rely on that as much as I don't like the artificial sweetener in it.




3. No soft drink.

Also known as fizzy drink, soda, pop, etc. To be honest, I've already caved in this one when two of my friends and I ordered a pizza deal with three pizzas, two soft drinks and two garlic breads for $33 (such a good deal, yum). There was only three of us eating the food (livin' la vida loca), so I couldn't turn down the Sprite now could I? Nonetheless, I'm going to try and turn it down whenever I have the option (side note - such a first world problem to have: unable to turn down a soft drink). This is also to help with resolution 2!




I think (?) those are my resolutions. I'm sure I had about two more, but I cannot for the life of me remember them. Of course there's the usual 'try to be healthier, try to get fit, be a better person', but I like those to be all-time resolutions I constantly strive for no matter the year, so I don't really count them.

That's it from me! Thanks for reading :)

xx

Indy


Tuesday 31 December 2013

Looking Back / News Years Resolution 2013

Last year (2012), I had tonnes of resolutions. I did pretty well on them, but going into 2013 I wanted to focus on something very important to me: reading.


Sadly in the last few years, reading has gone on a backbench in my life, being overtaken by schoolwork, a part-time job, friends, Facebook, Tumblr, instagram, TV shows, YouTube... you get the gist. I know I'm not alone in this, and a few of my friends have also expressed frustration/disappointment in the fact they no longer finding themselves reading in the same way they did when younger.

I only had one resolution for 2013, and it was to 'Read more books.' I didn't give myself a number goal, or specify the types of books, or even list the books I wanted to read. It was as simple as those three words.

Over the year, I wrote down the names of all the books that I completed. I had to complete them to write them down, because so often I'd start and never finish a book, and the whole point was to get back into actually finishing books.

The first few months of the year I did pretty well, but as soon as I was really in the thick of school and work and the year kept plodding along, I once again found myself not reading anything for months and months.

In this whole year, I've only completed 6 books. In all honesty, it is better than last year, but it's still nowhere near where I'd like to be with reading. I want to get back to how I used to be - never not reading something, and at least a chapter of a book each day.

This year I have more than just one resolution, but I'm going to continue in my efforts to read more. Reading is such a nice getaway, it stimulates your mind, takes you out of the instant-gratification world of social media and allows you to explore concepts you can't in your mundane life.

There are so many good books, and so little time to read them.

So, for 2014, my aim is to read more than 6 books!

If you're interested, below are the 6 books I completed in 2013 (in chronological order).

I recommend them all - they're all fantastic books - but my favourite was Anne Frank's Diary. It was so very moving.





























































xx

Indy

Sunday 29 December 2013

REVIEW | T2 and LUSH

For Christmas, my very good friend Patrick got me two of my favourite things ever - Lush products and tea.  It was such a nice present and Patrick if you ever read this - thank you so much :) :) :) :) :) :)



Anyway, not intending to look a gift horse in the mouth, I thought I'd do a review on the tea and the Lush bubble bar to share the wonder. Ooeeeeee I love Christmas!

We'll start with the tea!



So the tea he purchased was T2's new Christmas tea 'Twinkle Berry'. It came in a shiny big box with a tea infusuer and a scoop.

I'd had this tea a couple of times in the shop, I think it was part of their Christmas range. It's technically not a 'tea' as such, but rather a tissane ('tea' being defined by the presence of leaves from the plant camellia sinensis), and as a result, it makes a really delicious iced-tea.

It's a really fresh, fruity flavour, with a sweetness to it. Lately we've had some ridiculously hot days, and it was so refreshing to have this iced-tea to cool down. It's not sugary like store-bought ice-teas either, and it just makes a really delicious drink. I've also had it hot, and it's a lovely fruity warm drink. I think when made hot it's best to combine it with another tea, most likely a green or white tea, to enhance their flavour. I combined this with Geisha Getaway and the result was off the chain. So good.  Best present, score!


Next was the Lush Magic Wand Bubble Bar. I'd seen this so many times in Lush, and hinted at it many times to those I was with, so obviously I was stoked when I got it. 



I used it for the first time in the bath on Christmas night, while watching RuPaul's Drag Race, and it made the water such a cute pink colour! The bubbles were really nice too, although I think next time I'm going to have to wave the wand around near the running water a little bit more, as at first the bubbles didn't come up that much, but after some swishing (which I do love doing) they were really frothy and great. 

And the smell, gosh I love that smell. I came out smelling like a snow fairy and feeling like a star. It was barely used too, and I got another one for Christmas. I'm going to be using this for ages, I'm just so pleased. 



Such a top notch, wonderful present. Both Lush and T2 never disappoint, I highly recommend both products for anyone who loves baths or tea.

Thanks again to Patrick, who is the bomb-diggity, 

Lots of love

Indy

xx

Friday 27 December 2013

Christmas Day | Presents & Family

On Christmas Day I took a lot less pictures, but it went like this –

Firstly, I woke up at 7am. Unfortunately nobody else did, and being the only child I couldn't force everyone up. So I waited around until about 8:30am, when I got up, got dressed and went into the loungeroom to read for a while before everyone else awoke.



At about 9:30, everyone else had woken up and my Grandad's wife was cooking breakfast. We had a potato tortilla (similar to this) with bacon, and homemade tomato sauce and 'strawberry thickshakes' consisting of about a kilo of frozen strawberries from their farm, blended with a dash of milk.




The breakfast was absolutely delicious, however the 6 year old within me was itching to open presents ASAP.

At about 10:30 we began to open the presents (a whole 3 and a half hours since I'd woken, torture I tell you). Everyone got pretty rad presents, and I was so happy about what I'd gotten.

L-R - 1st Row Peter Alexander knickers, Peter Alexander sleepwear playsuit, Doctor Who t-shirt
2nd Row Lush products: three pack of FUN; Magic Bubble Wand; So White bath ballistic; Sunny Side bubble bar; Happiness pigment; Snow Fairy shower gel; $50 Lush gift card,
$30 iTunes card, Cadbury Favourites


It was such a lovely morning and breakfast!

Afterwards we headed home, where I got changed and did my makeup, and then to my Grandma's for lunch. At about 5pm Mum and I returned to our home where we opened the rest of the presents (which I unfortunately didn't take a picture of), watched Love Actually, ate a few Christmas cookies, and didn't eat dinner.

I didn't actually take any pictures after the morning, so that's all I have, but suffice to say it was a very lovely Christmas!

Definitely looking forward to next year, 362 days to go!

xx

Indy

Wearing: Rimmel Kate Moss shade 22 and an incredible tacky Christmas t-shirt (not pictured)